AN ADVERTISEMENT IN GLAMOUR MAGAZINE IS ILLUMINATED VIA WALKING BY THE STORE FRONTS OF KING ST., CHARLESTON, SC AFTER CLOSING HOURS.
by late I mean early in the morning
but the mornings for me never start until I’ve been asleep
so it’s late...
and I’m trying not to wake you while I can’t sleep...
and it’s about this time every night that I can’t sleep
staring, just staring off to behind whatever is in front of me
because I start thinking about
the inefficiencies of this career...
and the ways in which most of our
family and friends believe my career to be a glamorous occupation
bright city lights and publications
and parties forever on end...
everyone wants some romanticized insight...
want to think I live wild
have unique experiences traveling around the world
live the life they dreamed of but never wanted...
it feels fashionable...
well I’m living the life I always dreamed but never ever wanted...
it’s really just being lonely...
and saddled with insatiable desire
At times my attitude shifts, and I see it...
fading in and out and cast in a different light
in some ways...
it feels like my window is passing
like my time is about to be missed
like I’m always walking the line of desire and promotion
and the conflicted relationship therein
and how that might reflect on our future
our family’s future
these are works to stay up late and miss you by
it’s a work that mourns the loss of an age
an age where we were all we had
an age without necessary division of attentions
an age of connection
of never turning the page forward
so I’m just going to sit at the dinner table
the place we never eat
I’ll sit here in the middle of the night
one bulb of the table lamp on...
I’ll sit here with shaky hands
and I’ll write about trying not to wake you
knowing full well you’ll say in the morning
‘you know I don’t sleep well without you’
[VIDEO - 4:45]