I have this desire, this disease
within my daily life
for representations to be more than that
to be actual
but more than that even... a synchronicity of sorts
whereby they are representations and actualizations at the same time

It will be in the middle of the day
and I’ll do something spectacularly ordinary
and several moments later
I’ll find myself at once aware of my surroundings
doing something
spectacularly ordinary
having just emerged from a
half memory, half fantasy
the ordinary and sublime forever fused and confused

We have problems
problems of the everyday
ordinary days spent in a daze
fantasizing; hoping; dreaming
of our perfect situation
even though I have
no idea
of what that may be

I remember hiking
hiking up to see Snoqualmie falls
what a spectacle it was
looks of a miniature movie set
to our exhausted bodies & minds...
at least I think it was Snoqualmie...
it’s difficult to say exactly from this
time & distance...
exhausted within our daily lives as we are

...this like pouring over
of wanting representation to be reality
rushing toward me, an uncontainable force...
from where we stood near the base of the falls
looking up; looking up; looking up through the mist
as the water rushed by...

wanting everyday to go back to that place
to stand where we stood... to be the people we were
that place in time...
and to realize the impossibility of it
is to awaken to the mess around me
and the ways in which now is not then

[VIDEO - 3:01]